


Shovel Talk Turns Out To Be A Bad Time For All Involved

by thundertale



Series: Post True-Pacifist Route [6]
Category: Undertale
Genre: M/M, Protective Sans, Shovel Talk, The Skelebros, Therapy, Too fabulous Mettaton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:56:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9491780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundertale/pseuds/thundertale
Summary: When Sans discovers that his baby brother is dating the narcissistic celebrity, he decides he has to give Mettaton a shovel talk. What he didn't expect was for it to take a turn towards therapy for Mettaton.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Papyton & Protective Sans & Platonic Sansatton because I Can and I'm bored

Sans had been gripping a mug of coffee, his skeletal fingers curving around the edges of the handle, and watching the human news. It was, to him, terribly unfortunate how humans were so quick to attack and kill one another. Though, he suppose that there were so many of them it was only reasonable that something wiped out a few here and there.

All in all, Sans had minimal plans for that day and was very much prepared and joyous with this fact.

However, his plans, or lack therof, were crudely intercepted when Papyrus, as unnecessarily loud as ever, stormed through the living room, thrust himself on the couch (causing tremors to run through it) and snatched the remote off of the small table.

"What are you doing, Paps?" Sans asked, not truly frustrated but just confused.

"I'm changing the channel. Mettaton is going to be on soon!" Papyrus explained, his eyes fixated anywhere and everywhere except on Sans, which concerned him slightly.

"But Mettaton is always on," Sans reminded him suspiciously, "since he's all that monsters watch, even if humans aren't so quick to agree on that."

"Well, I need to watch this specifically! Mettaton said that there was something special about this show!"

"He says that about all of his shows. He's vain."

Still, five minutes later Mettaton, in his now well-known but well-loved EX form, was presenting some show or the other, which Papyrus was consumed by while Sans spared it a few glances here and there when the audience would break down in to melodramatic laughter.

Then, Sans was paying a rather large amount of attention when Mettaton declared that he had a 'major announcement' to make. He knew that his had to be what Papyrus had mentioned earlier on.

"Well, my darlings, it is with great pleasure that I must confess that I... have fallen in love. Now, who could be good enough for the heart of somebody as fabulous as myself, I hear you ask? Well, it certainly isn't my dear burger flipper! It is, the very famous, Papyrus! Isn't it just wonderful?"

Sans decided that no, it wasn't 'just wonderful'. Somebody needed to have a Bad Time.

"What is going on, Papyrus?"

* * *

 

When the target of your search is one of the few monster celebrities, even on the surface, or perhaps especially so, it is reasonably easy to find them. When your target was also seven feet tall and a drama queen, it was even easier.

"And whatever could you want, sweet-future-brother-in-law?" Mettaton cooed, and Sans already felt like dying slowly and painfully. He couldn't stand the robot, and had hoped that the surface would keep them distanced, but, alas, here Mettaton was, dating his baby brother.

"Getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren't you? You must be using a metta-ton of exaggeration," Sans said.

"Well, I don't know about that, darling. Papyrus and I are very happy together," Mettaton replied, and Sans should've accepted that as fact, because it would've saved him so much time.

"Now, now. Listen up: if you ever hurt my babybones, then know this: you won't be shin-ging on stage much longer, and you'll definitely be poor and skull-king around filthy alleyways. Got it? Don't get yourself a Bad Time?"

Now, Sans wasn't entirely sure where he expected his conversation to take him. He had hoped for fear, or even a sigj of respect for his superior, but Mettaton just sat there in stupor before wails echoed in his metallic head, since robots couldn't cry.

"Um...what? You all right there, buddy?" Sans asked, not really having enough energy to deal with it.

"Yes, thats exactly why I'm crying!" Mettaton shrieked, clearly not in the mood to beat around the bush, which was an expression Sans hadn't never used and was glad to have a situation to mentally apply it to.

"Okay, why are you crying then? Did a heel break?"

"It's just that you hate me just like everyone else and all I wanted was to be loved and I got that from Blooky and Shyren and then Papyrus came along and he got my need for praise and affection and then his brother can't accept it and I do love him and-"

"The humans do you like you. You're like... an anime character in real life."

"Did you just indirectly call me a weeaboo?"

"Hey, don't get your wires in a twist, alright? You'll be fine, I don't even hate you. I just I need a little... extra charge... to get to the same level of energy," Sans said, not entirely lying. Mettaton seemed to cock his head slightly.

"Really? So you approve of mine and Papy's relationship?" Mettaton asked hurriedly, quickly brightening and Sans wondered if Mettaton had considerered acting seriously for a job, as his moods had changed in a split second. 

"More than I approve of you crying, I guess," Sans tried, and that seemed to finish lifting Mettaton's mood, which had sunk lower than the Titanic.

"Fantastic! I'll let him know- wait, wait! I'll call him and put it on speaker!"

It rang a few times before Papyrus actually picked up.

"Sorry, Metta!" Papyrus called cheerily through the phone, "I was making spaghetti!"

"I'll have to try it later!" Mettaton said happily in response, clearly lying through his teeth, and Sans realised that perhaps Mettaton would be okay for Papyrus. "Say, Papy, Sans says he approves of our relationship!"

"Really?!"

"Really!"

"That's great! We can be a happy family all together!" And then w hung up. Mettaton beamed at Sans.

"You can't reject me now!" Mettaton exclaimed frivolously.

"I don't think I was going to... be only for Paps. I still don't trust you."

 


End file.
